Jul 21
Under the light, nothing seems to be scary.
Taken from: Tsiken
May 09
My friend gave me this story, I thought its worth sharing.
GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that’s not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?
GIRL:Well, he kissed me.
PSYCHIATRIST :You mean like this?
The psychiatrist kissed the girl
GIRL: …… Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl’s top
GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
The psychiatrist took off the girl’s clothes
GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
The psychiatrist had sex with the girl
GIRL:Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD
Mar 11
Paolo Bediones: Janina, how are you?
Janina San Miguel: I’m fine.
Paolo Bediones: Alright, so you won two of the major awards - Best in Long Gown, Best in Swimsuit, do you feel any pressure right now?
Janina San Miguel: No, I don’t feel any pressure right now.
Paolo Bediones: Confident! Alright! Please choose a name of the judge.
Paolo Bediones: We have Miss Vivienne Tan.
Vivienne Tan: Good Evening.
Janina San Miguel: Good Evening.
Vivienne Tan: The question is, what role did your family play to you as candidate to Binibining Pilinas?
Janina San Miguel: Well, my family’s role for me is so important b’coz there was the wa- they’re, they was the one who’s… very… Hahahaha… Oh I’m so sorry, Ahhmm… My pamily… My family… Oh my god… I’m… Ok, I’m so sorry… I… I told you that I’m so confident… Eto, Ahhmm, Wait… Hahahaha, Ahmmm, Sorry guys because this was really my first pageant ever b’coz I’m only 17 years old and ahahaha I, I did not expect that I came from, I came from one of the top 10. Hmmm, so… but I said that my family is the most important persons in my life. Thank you.
Mar 03
These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country.
1. My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear School : Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,32, and also 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
8. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
9. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
10. Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
11. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
12. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a hangover.
13. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
14. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
Source: Tsiken
Feb 28
Would you agree with me if I say that only a great mind could produce a humor that could influence a lot in a serious talk?
Check out the speech of Bill Gates at Harvard Graduation June 7, 2007.
Video: Bill Gates' Harvard Commencement Speech
Source: Graduation Talk