Oct 15
May 09
My friend gave me this story, I thought its worth sharing.
GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that’s not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?
GIRL:Well, he kissed me.
PSYCHIATRIST :You mean like this?
The psychiatrist kissed the girl
GIRL: …… Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl’s top
GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
The psychiatrist took off the girl’s clothes
GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
The psychiatrist had sex with the girl
GIRL:Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD
Mar 03
These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country.
1. My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear School : Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,32, and also 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
8. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
9. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
10. Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
11. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
12. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a hangover.
13. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
14. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
Source: Tsiken
Oct 05
Before Marriage. . .
He: At last, Yes It was so hard to wait!
She: Do you want to leave me?
He: No, Don’t even think about it!
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No, why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy, I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes!
She: Darling!
After marriage. . .
Oct 01
Langit Lupa, Bading version
Heaven, Lufa
Infairness!
In, in, infairness!
Okray heartness
Flowing ang dugesh!
Chuging, alive
Dis-a-ppear kanetch!
Sep 24
Sleeping in the office too often? You might need this:
Sep 19
| “Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.” | |
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Sep 18
My brother and I thought that Grandma lived at the airport because that’s where we always went to get her. Then when we were tired of her, we took her back.
Sep 17
In a Mis Gay Pageant
Host: How can we uplift our economy today eventhough we are under economic crisis??
Gay:(namutla) Mga bakla!!! akala ko ba miss gay ito!!! quizbee pala!!!
Sep 05
Minsan nanonood ako ng tv at nalipat (nalipat lang daw) ko sa isang chismisang palabas. Ang iniinterview ay si Snooky Serna (aka Blusang Baliw). Ang mga panahong to ay yung kasagsagan ng mga intriga tungkol sa hiwalayan nila ni Ricardo Cepeda.
Host: Snooky, bakit kayo naghiwalay ni Ricardo?
Snooky: One word lang po, “irreconcilable differences”!
Source: GreenPinoy